Words you must never use

25 January, 2011
Rat Fink

And not because I say so, but rather, because they make you sound like an…um….well, the name Yosemite Sam hurled at the gol dern dragon.

  1. Foci. (pronounced “foke eye”) There is absolutely no reason to use this word outside a mathematical discipline, unless you just can’t help your annoying, pretentious self. PJ always used it to refer to multiple areas of focus in music ed. research. PJ is the little man who captained the Boston University Titanic on which I sailed several years ago. I won’t elaborate, or I’ll be here all day. Suffice it to say that PJ liked to hear himself use fancy words. PJ is the reason I cringe every time someone says “cogent” or “agency” (in reference to adapting to a concept). PJ ruined those for me, too. PJ killed my inner child. PJ is a bad little PhD. PJ is bad. PJ.
  2. Brah. I suppose it’s a form of “bro” (a word which makes some limited sense), but please don’t use it to call out to your friends unless you want to sound like a Gangsta In Training. (You do the acronym. ;-))
  3. Supposably. I know, I know. “Supposably” is supposedly a word — sort of. I say “sort of” because the adverb form of  the unusual adjective “supposable” doesn’t really exist, but people use it anyway. (Only in America, folks. Only in America.) Just don’t say “supposably” when you really mean to say “supposedly.”
  4. Ironic. Well, you can use it, but please do so carefully. Many people confuse irony with coincidence. Behold: President Lincoln’s assassin shot him in a theater and hid in a warehouse. President Kennedy’s assassin shot him from a warehouse and hid in a theater. That’s not irony. It’s a doozy of a strange coincidence, but still — not ironic. Now what is irony? The Titanic was widely proclaimed “unsinkable,” but it beat feet to the ocean floor on its very first voyage. Whoa. I’ve used the word Titanic twice in one post. Ironic? NO. (Just unimaginative, sadly.)
  5. “I could care less.” If that’s the case, then you care a little. It’s possible that you could care less than you already care, but you’d still care some. You’re caring, however marginally. Now, if you couldn’t care less, it means you’re pretty much done caring; you’re at the bottom of the care barrel. There’s no more caring to go around. Caring less would mean negative caring, which doesn’t exist, so in truth, you simply could not care any less. So you don’t care. OK, I’ll quit now.
  6. 110%. Just…no.

Yes, I’m having a snark attack this morning. Does that make me a bad person? I apologize. I won’t take it out on you. That’s why I have high school students.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

14 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Stefan
Stefan
25 January, 2011 7:21 am

Ugh! I HATE when people say “supposably”! Or how about “Libarry?” Or “I seen you the other day”. I once heard someone call the delicious twisted treat a “prentzel.” I could go on and on and on. haha. English…. who needs it?

Reply

Country Mouse
Country Mouse
25 January, 2011 8:01 am

I have a friend who raises punkins!!!!

Reply

PKPudlin
25 January, 2011 10:38 am

Then there’s the second month of the year, often mispronounced as Feb-you-ary. The month is Feb-roo-ary.

My personal favorite is ‘prolly’. It’s *probably* also the most annoying.

PK
Honorary Diction Police

Reply

PKPudlin
25 January, 2011 10:44 am
Reply to  PKPudlin

PS. You are absolutely correct: PJ was/is a *little* man in many, many ways. I’ll bet he’s only 5′ 6″ with the concomitant disorder commonly referred to as the Napolean Complex. He certainly exhibits all the symptoms.

Put him from your mind, missy. He ain’t worth the real estate, capisce?

PK

Reply

Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks
25 January, 2011 12:29 pm

I wouldn’t use “Brah” but I’m as git as they get.

Reply

Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks
25 January, 2011 4:29 pm
Reply to  Rat Fink

Open sched. Anytime brah!

Reply

Suzanne
25 January, 2011 2:00 pm

I used to work in a fabric store and we had to fold large pieces of fabric onto rolls. One girl I worked with used to say “it helps if you hold it taunt” HAHAHAH Lordy we used to have fun with that. She never got it tho!!

Reply

BoomR
BoomR
25 January, 2011 11:12 pm

Exception to #2: You live in Hawaii, you’re a native of the islands, and you speak “pidgin English.” Calling folks “brah” is very common place. A frequently heard greeting would be, “Hey – howz’it, brah?” :-)

Behold: http://www.eyeofhawaii.com/Pidgin/pidgin.htm

Reply