Schmenglish X

23 September, 2009
Rat Fink

Sometimes I have to repeat stuff. Nobody listens to me (cep you guys).

I wish I could remember what I was reading yesterday morning. It was an interview with a military officer or university official or something…blah, I can’t recall. Anyway, I was reading through his comments, and stopped dead when I read, “And all the sudden…”

After that, I lost interest. Does that make me a bad person? I honestly don’t think I suffer from elitism here. I just mourn the death of our national grammatical conscience is all. Doesn’t anyone care anymore? Does no one care that horrible grammar makes one sound stupid? *sNiFfLE*

Then I had a thought (sometimes I do that). There are movements and causes everywhere. We are a nation of causes. Save the Whales. Save the Donkeys. Save the Butterflies. Save Route 66 (yay!).  Save the Old Jail downtown. Save the Outer Mongolian Tree Spider. TWITTER, fuh cripesake (aka Save the Random, Inconsequential Thoughts).

Well then, how about:

I mean, really. What defines a nation *first*? Its language; its primary form of communication. I know of no other language that is so routinely and indiscriminately mangled. Yes, yes, we’re a melting pot — a tossed salad — e pluribus unum, blah, blah. No excuse, sorry. Especially for native speakers. And I’m not talking about slang, or accents and regional idiosyncrasies (for instance, in Milwaukee, where I went to elementary and middle school, a water fountain was called a “bubbler”). Those are fine, and in many cases, interesting and fun.

RtB fiends know what I mean. I won’t go into it at 5:58 a.m. But listen. If we’re going to champion this cause (notice I’ve dragged you all into this), we need a way better slogan. I love the “Bad Grammar Destroys Nations” thing — but I can’t steal someone else’s gray matter.

So come on. What can fit on the front of a t-shirt? Certainly not the above logo, which I slapped together in 45 seconds. I promise to come up with something better. I’m willing to throw money at this, swear.

Sixth grade choir had better be fabulous first thing this morning…

Fink, in a mood

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23 Comments
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Mavis
Mavis
23 September, 2009 7:03 am

How’s this for a T-shirt slogan:

If You Have No Grammatical Conscience – SHUTUP!!!!!! :0)

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PKPudlin
PKPudlin
23 September, 2009 7:44 am

Are you saying we speak ‘Manglish’?

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Mathew
Mathew
23 September, 2009 8:16 am

(cep you guys). . TWITTER, fuh cripesake (aka Save the Random, Inconsequential Thoughts).

After that I lost interest. :P

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Rat Fink Reply:

Kids…such a short attention span.

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Mathew Reply:

Hey now, I resent that. Just because we have to be overcafinated in order to get through morning classes doesn’t mean tha— OHMYGOSHLOOKIT’SASQUIRREL.

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Ross
Ross
23 September, 2009 8:18 am

One of Texas Monthly’s better features is called “The Horse’s Mouth” where they interview people in various fields. In the current issue, the title is “Being a Grammarian” and it focuses on Bryan Garner, well-published writer on topics of grammar. His best line: “Proper grammar will always be important to those who care to have credibility with others.” ReplyRat Fink Reply:September 23rd, 2009 at 9:08 amPrecisely! Barring conversational slang where it’s acceptable (like in an informal, personal weblog, MATHEW :P), I think it’s totally a credibility issue. I mean, look at what the whole “potato/potatoe” thing did to Dan Quayle.… Read more »

Lars
Lars
23 September, 2009 9:41 am

How about “The Grammar Hammer”?

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Rat Fink Reply:

HAA AWESOME

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BoomR
BoomR
23 September, 2009 10:43 am

“Grammer Got Run Over By A Reindeer”

Oh, wait… what were we talking about? OHMYGOSHLOOKIT’S**ANOTHER**SQUIRREL

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Mathew Reply:

AAAHHHHHHH *runs after squirrel*

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Rat Fink Reply:

LOL

Ya ding-dongs

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Artilius Merchclod
Artilius Merchclod
23 September, 2009 11:06 am

A nation is defined by its language? Sounds boring.

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Rat Fink Reply:

And yet…it’s true. Would you rather it be defined by Pixie Stix? Why yes, I think you would.

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Artilius Merchclod Reply:

Ha! Pixie Stix isn’t bad. If I had to choose I would probably go with Fun Dip!

http://thedomesticdiva.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/fundip.jpg

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Rat Fink Reply:

I adore the FunDip!

Suzanne
Suzanne
23 September, 2009 1:16 pm

Confound it I had an articulate and compendious reply but I lost it. Was laughing at some of the silly responses. :)

Dutch is also mangled but I think there’s a good reason. With words like chocoladapasta and verblijfsvergunning (and those are short words) people don’t really care. Also, people are upset that so much English is coming into the language. I don’t mind that, you see.

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Old-man-bones
Old-man-bones
23 September, 2009 1:41 pm

I mean, really. What defines a nation *first*? Its language; its primary form of communication. Something which is primary shouldn’t be policed as though it has concrete rules… No, it doesn’t. Concrete rules are grounded in ontology. Grammar is not grounded in ontology. Its beauty is in its fluidity. In three years ‘all the sudden’ might be ‘correct’, and people will be blogging about you. I don’t want to do it all over again, so: http://fakepalindrome.wordpress.com/2009/09/11/grammur-lessin/#comments You’re entitled to your opinions about grammar but PLEASE don’t assume we’ve ALL got our undies on too tight. ReplyRat Fink Reply:September 23rd, 2009… Read more »

Stein
Stein
24 September, 2009 2:00 pm

The Grammar Slammer?
If y’ain’t gone speak none good a’talkin’, don’t be opnin’ dat mouf!

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Rat Fink Reply:

Sentence Gaol!

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