RNF XLIX

15 August, 2011
Rat Fink

This is one of those “do NOT go there” sites, especially if you provide some kind of contracted service for people. This particular site is populated by graphic and web designers, and they share their true stories from the battlefield. I couldn’t stop reading; it was like watching a wreck, except funny. Some personal favorites:

CLIENT: We want a website that looks minimalist and fresh, like [a local department store]’s.

ME: That’s a great starting point

CLIENT: The most important feature is professionalism. Clean lines, lots of white space, so our customers know we mean business.

ME: Sounds great! Any other fundamentals?

CLIENT: Have you seen the website for Chiquita Banana?

ME: I – no, I’ll have to check it out. What do you like about the site?

CLIENT: It has these cute bananas with sunglasses that walk around and dance and stuff. We want something like that.

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CLIENT: This website is about GOOD wholesome music! No Lady googoo, or the Mr Cisco thong song, or, uh, Ozzy Osmund. Just good wholesome music.”

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CLIENT: We need to submit our app to the store before it closes for the weekend—what time does the app store close on Friday nights?

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At the grocery:

CLIENT: “Aren’t you supposed to be designing my brochure?”

ME: “It’s Sunday morning. I’m just buying milk because I ran out.”

CLIENT: “Oh, you did? Well, what should we do then if we run out of time for the project, huh? Just leave the last two pages blank and write ‘sorry, ran out of milk’ on them?”

ME: “I don’t know why you’re getting so upset over this.”

CLIENT: “I don’t know why you can’t just eat your cereal dry.”

ME: “What!?”

CLIENT: “I just… Okay, sorry I snapped. I just came from church. That place leaves me feeling so angry for some reason.”

========

CLIENT: Last night I dreamed that the site was made out of roast pork and corn juice. I know it sounds strange, but I really like the essence of the idea. Can you do something with that, with the essence of the idea?

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CLIENT: … And whenever anyone refreshes the page, the opening of “The Circle of Life” will play as loud as possible. Does anyone own rights to that song?”

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CLIENT: “Oh and by the way, we don’t want you to draw udders on the cows.”

ME: “Why not?”

CLIENT: “It’s too suggestive.”

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And the best one, especially for musicians…

CLIENT: What do you mean, ‘payment?’ You told me you were freelancing!”

Haaaa

Just when I think I’ve heard the strangest things ever, working in public education…

Off to have coffee with Meg. :-) Happy Monday, if there is such a thing.

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PKPudlin
15 August, 2011 10:33 am

Love it. I have a couple, but here’s one of my faves:

Piano Student: I got a new Beatles’ book! I’ve already tried ‘Penny Lane’ and ‘Yesterday’.
Me: Great! Let me take a look….. Hey, here’s ‘Hey, Jude’! Do you know that one?
Student: No, I’m only familiar with their more famous songs….

OK, ok, he’s 13, but it was all I could do to keep from laughing right out loud. His (musician) mom thought it was hilarious.

PK, laughing my way through yet another Monday.
:)

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Suzanne
15 August, 2011 1:26 pm

HAAA these are good! I wonder if these people were able to keep a straight face when dealing with these people. :)

Happy Monday, mine is almost done!!! I have the whole week off except for Saturday…..I don’t mind all the free time but I will when my teeny tiny little paycheck comes…… *sigh*

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BoomR
BoomR
15 August, 2011 3:06 pm

WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHY do I click the link anyway when you preface it with “do NOT go there…” ???? Once again I got sucked into the vortex and have not gotten a blasted thing done except laugh so hard that I almost peed my pants!

(OK, was that TMI??)

xoxoxox
B

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