Please don’t.

7 August, 2013
Rat Fink

We hates it. We hates it forever!

Now and again over the last 5+ years, I’ve been known to yammer on about any number of issues that bug me. Some just annoy me slightly, while others make me want to launch a puppy at a speeding truck.

As I’ve been up since 3:10 this morning (can you tell that school days are near?), I’ve done quite a bit more reading than usual, which increases the likelihood I’ll read something that’ll honk me off. So in the interest of continued harmony here, but mostly just because I’m crabby, behold the Please don’t list:

Please don’t tell me any of the following: Oh, just calm down; Chill out; Relax, or the like. If you crave a manifestation of the full, unrelenting force of Newton’s third law, then have at it. Otherwise, know that I would never intentionally grate on your everlast nerve by insulting your intelligence and completely ignoring and invalidating your feelings. Intentionally. :-)

Please don’t listen to sensationalist fearmongering (also known as The Weather Channel). This morning, I learned that 1400 asteroids were plummeting towards Earth. One of them is the size of a “golf course.” (???) The most poignant statement comes at the end of the clip, where Matt Sampson says (with a straight face — I am not making this up) that “scientists believe that if one of these objects collided with the earth, there would be devastating consequences.”  (*bLiNk*) Not that this is the same channel that produces It Could Happen Tomorrow or anything…

Please don’t cruise in the passing lane. This hasn’t happened to me this morning, of course; I’m just reminding all for the common good.

Please don’t parrot the lie that teachers “get paid 12 months for doing 10 months of work.” If I read that insipid, ignorant crap one more time… Here’s the deal. I work a 10-month contract at a laughable 10-month wage, which my school district stretches out over 12 months. Bam.

Please don’t believe for a New York minute that Bill Gates is giving away $5,000 if you “like” a post on Facebook. Don’t believe that Disney is giving away free tickets, or Olive Garden is giving away free meals, or that something will magically happen to your screen if you click “like” on the picture. (Yes, people really, really fall for this.) And if I see another “liked” post with the comment, “I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try, haha!!” I’m gonna…oy.

Ah *slurp another sip of cafe mocha*, I feel better. Not so crabby. I shouldn’t have read anything this morning. DO NOT READ! IT’S BAD FOR YOU!

SmeagolFink out.

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Suzanne
7 August, 2013 12:01 pm

BUT BUT BUT I did “like” something on Facebook and won a package of bird food and feeders and a bird house!!! :P But yeah….I hear you on that. It’s just that people have this hope that perhaps this time they will win something, much like people who buy lottery tickets or people who gamble. *duCKs*

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Suzanne
8 August, 2013 5:15 am

No it wasn’t everyone will get a backyard feeder package, they selected one person and that was ME! hahaha And you are right, people like everything w/o readingthe small print.

Love you too <3

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