What a dope. I bashed a door into my face yesterday (and a sharp part of my glasses into my open eye), and now I cannot stop weeping (and writhing in pain). Fantastic — time to call the opthoalsghlaskdmfalgist.
All I really want to do right now is spend the night in a giant beagle. Instead, I’m getting ready to go to the emergency room.
Help, I’m stupid and I can’t see!®