J’ever have one of those mornings?

1 June, 2013
Rat Fink

Y’know…

Yesterday, around 10 a.m., I got to work baking two cakes. Before I finished (or in some cases, even started), the following happenings…erm…happened:

  1. I couldn’t find my Bake Easy cake pan spray, so I balanced precariously on the bottom shelf of my pantry while feeling around on the top shelf. I finally found the can, then lost my precarious balance.
  2. As I stumbled backwards and clawed for something to hang on to, the can of Bake Easy (along with two boxes of pasta) flew out of the pantry and onto the floor. The lid came off and the can tumbled around and landed in some cosmically bizarre, could-only-happen-to-me position — which made the spray nozzle stick in the “open” position. Oil spray, everywhere.
  3. I grabbed the hissing, spraying, alive can and ran to the sink with it, where I janked it around and got the aerosol volcano to stop. I turned around to grab a paper towel to wipe it down, and ZING! Slippy-slidey on the oil-covered hardwood floor. Down I went, in the muck and the mess.
  4. Took off my moccasins and washed the soles down with Dawn dish soap, then got down on hands and knees and washed the floor. Then I washed myself. All right, finally back at it.
  5. As I reached for the egg carton, I grazed my arm against some utensils on the kitchen counter, bumping the cake pan, which in turn knocked over the open cake mix box. More mess to clean up.
  6. Got out the bottle of vegetable oil; fumbled it, and it landed on the floor. Thankfully, it didn’t break.
  7. Fast-forward to the second cake coming out of the oven. After carefully, carefully, carefully releasing the last perfect layer, the pan slipped out of my hands and landed square on top of the cake. Sheared off a huge chunk. (At this point, I am considering running, screaming out into the street.) I had to make a small batch of frosting and use it as joint compound to reattach the severed piece. Curses.
  8. The Js arrived. When I went to transfer the glued-together cake layer to the other counter top to wrap it, Justin says, “I’ll help you, Grammie!” I said, “Sure, but be careful because—” Amputee chunk comes loose. (Haha. No damage done. He’s a great helper!)

The cakes eventually went into the freezer, all wrapped up and ready for icing tomorrow morning. Last night, I mixed up the filling for the chicken pot pies without a major accident. Thumbs up. We’ll see how well the rolling out of the crusts goes tomorrow…

J’ever have one of those mornings?? Just call me Murph.

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Mavis
Mavis
1 June, 2013 6:26 am

Oh. My. I’m stunned. Actually, I’m still wiping tears from my eyes. I’m so sorry, Bird, but that was the funniest story I’ve heard in a while! I know, I know. It wasn’t funny while it was happening to you, poor thing. I only wish it could have been filmed! Ok. I won’t laugh anymore. I am glad, though, that you didn’t break your head or anything when you fell backwards, or when you slipped in the oily mess! I’m sure your guests for tomorrow will appreciate all that you went through to make the dinner possible. PLEASE be careful… Read more »

BoomR
BoomR
1 June, 2013 11:10 am

I’m just glad you didn’t hurt yourself through all that! Good thing the Thriller didn’t have the Flip cranked up & going to capture all of that! :-)

xoxoxo

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Greg
Greg
1 June, 2013 12:00 pm

All this should have been filmed in black and white with “rinky-tink” piano accompaniment in the background!

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Suzanne
1 June, 2013 2:54 pm

Goodness!!! I do have my moments but wow you take the cake! HARRRRRRRR

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RD
RD
1 June, 2013 5:54 pm

I read it, and I believe it. It’s beyond fiction! Murph was working overtime.

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