Is it just me…

13 July, 2008
Rat Fink

…or is there anyone else in the world who thinks clowns are decidedly UNfunny?

Be honest. Have you ever laughed at a clown’s antics? I mean, really, look at this photo. Is that remotely humorous? Ok, maybe remotely, but certainly not anything close to roll-on-the-floor-and-grab-your-tummy hilarious. And before you accuse me of reaching inside your soul and strangling your inner child: I know “clowning” is considered an “art.” They even have a Hall of Fame you can actually visit.

There are also clown colleges. One (in Ohio, of course), advertises that they serve anyone who “seeks the way of the clown.” (website now defunct)

Seeks the way of the clown. How very Master Po.

Even as a child I didn’t laugh at clowns. Not even at Bob Bell — aka Bozo the Clown — with whom I spent weekly quality time via WGN-TV in Chicago when I was a kid. Rather, I watched Bozo’s Circus for the prize giveaways and the cartoons.

What is inherently funny about your standard clowns? Call me crazy, but they strike me as being a little…I dunno…creepy. Suspect. As if they’re putting on makeup to hide the monster beneath.

It’s possible that this guy ruined clowns for me for life. It by Stephen King was the scariest novel I had ever read, until recently. Quoth Mr. Pennywise to a group of terrorized adults:

I’ll kill you all. I’m every nightmare you’ve ever had. I’m everything you were ever afraid of.”

Super.

[Know what else? I hate balloons. Hate ’em. They’re floaty, evil things. Bombs, waiting to go off.]

I know someone (*cough*STONEY*cough*) who freaks out at the mere mention of clowns. Johnny Depp (insert angel chorus here) used to have nightmares about them. I’ve seen small children shriek in terror at parades and festivals and street fairs when clowns attempt to approach them. So why are they consistently tied to wholesome, family fun?

Circus (acrobat) clowns are an exception. Many of them are talented athletes who are not funny, but extremely entertaining. It’s the ones who look, well, dirty, with their smeared-on theatrical makeup (called, fittingly, “Clown White,” which makes the whites of their eyes look jaundiced) and bleeding, feathered red lipstick that make me feel all ooky.

Bottom line, clowns just remind me of this.

Fink (looking) out (the window for balloons that may be sailing by).

Photo credits: torontoist.com; best-horror-movies.com
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meg
meg
14 July, 2008 5:08 pm

cloowwwnns…balloons. ICK! i’m in agreement – creepy, ghoulish, and sinister things they are. :P
never have been a big fan of either. hahaa

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