I must say…

29 May, 2008
Rat Fink

….WikiHow is freaking awesome.

But on to more serious matters. As you know, I really like to find out stuff. Research makes me happy. I sometimes wonder how I find the goodies that end up on my screen, but I do enjoy running across it all. I highly doubt I’ll ever run out of pages to look at. Consider this:

J’ever think about how many pages there are on the web now? According to domaintools.com, there are, as of last night, 103,005,661 active domains on the internet. Ok, so exactly how big a number is 103 million? Say you wanted to count to one million. Saying one number per second, non-stop for eight hours a day, seven days a week would take you slightly longer than a month. Yikes.

And that’s just domain names – it doesn’t take into account the number of pages within each domain. We’re talking exponential here, friend. My brain doesn’t work like that, so I’ll leave this subject alone.

Recently, I heard about a student who was not allowed to do a report on a certain musician because he (the musician, not the student) was a drug user, and therefore not an acceptable contributor to society. Because I always want to help students everywhere, I will now suggest a few other historical figures about whom to write instead:

  1. Thomas Edison. Uh…cocaine user. Scratch that.
  2. W. A. Mozart. Whoopsy. Alcohol abuser.
  3. Sigmund Freud. Cocaine addict. Nevermind. (Actually, the guy was a wackjob without the dope.)
  4. Robert Louis Stevenson. Ah, nuts. Scratch him, too. Wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in its entirety, in six sleepless days and nights, on a coke binge. Worthless slacker.
  5. L. van Beethoven. Dang. See #2.
  6. Ted Kennedy. Prescription drug addict. Sorry, luv.
  7. Admiral Horatio Nelson. Most famous of all British Navy commanders. He was honored as …. wait. Forget that. Opium addict.
  8. Edgar Allen Poe. Nope. Opium. Probably never wrote anything worthwhile.
  9. Winston Churchill. Don’t waste your time. Loser was a barbiturate junkie.
  10. Benjamin Franklin. Snap. Another opium user. Musta been a dummy.

Well then. That ought to do it. Glad I could help.

[I do get all ate up with the smart-aleck once’t in awhile. Got me in trouble quite often with the parental units, as I recall. I know. It’s a character flaw. I’ll work on it.]

Have a nice Thursday.

They Call Me Sarcasmo

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.