English is a dreadful thing

1 October, 2010
Rat Fink

I give all manner of props to people and businesses in foreign countries who make an effort to communicate with English speakers. Ours is a hideously convoluted language with ridiculous rules and even more ridiculous exceptions. Cripes, our own citizens can’t master it, so how can we expect others to do so?

Still — and I’ll probably reap bitter karma for this — I died laughing at some of these. From the Cheezburger Network people, photographs of signs in non-English-speaking countries:

I don't want the monkeys to attack to me.

~

There'll be none of that Rat biting around here.

~

Now that's what I'm talkin about.

~

So you put the 34 words in a hat, see, and...

~

But certainly not the last.

~

Tee hee. Juvenile chicanery from the Fink. I am ashamed of myself.

OK not really. :P

Hey, guess what day it is. Wahooty-hoo.

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Mavis
Mavis
1 October, 2010 7:38 am

“..so you put the words in a hat, see..” HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! You is be hysteria, Fink. heheheha! Thanks for the laugh, Bird!

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Rat Fink Reply:

HA – I is be now at school, but looky forward to have coffee and cluck on you tomorrow. Goodbye??

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Suzanne
1 October, 2010 11:08 am

These are good!

This is advertised regularly in Dutch advertisements. In Dutch it’s OK, but an American reading it and not knowing what they are…well…

http://www.zelfzorg.nl/img.php?id=117

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Rat Fink Reply:

LOL perfect! There were a bunch like that on the site I was on.

HEY — 16 more days!

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PKPudlin
1 October, 2010 1:21 pm

I like this one:
“Let’s eat Grandma.”
“Let’s eat, Grandma.”

Punctuation. It saves lives.

PK

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Rat Fink Reply:

Right! And I particularly like this one:

A woman without her man is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.

Punctuation indeed. :-)

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BoomR
BoomR
1 October, 2010 4:54 pm

OMG…that cracked me up! You go, laydboid! :-)

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Rat Fink Reply:

I actually laughed out loud at a bunch of them — I don’t do that very often while sitting in my parlor alone!

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Kay
Kay
1 October, 2010 5:37 pm

We see very strange translations here in Slovenija too!!! Sometimes I can read a tourist brochure and understand every single word and have no sense of the sentence. Seems impossible when everyone speaks wonderful English, but to translate written sentences literally is impossible and just adds to the confusion especially when there is profound fondness for sentences that travel the path of the dictionary all over the world. :)

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Rat Fink Reply:

HEY

Me you owe a mail to!

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