Daddy

2 February, 2011
Rat Fink

No, not Dad. Dad is the wonderful man Mavis and I lost in 1995.

Daddy is the wonderful man Mavis and I found in 2010.

I mean really — who gets to experience this in a lifetime? How fortunate are we to have these two men in our hearts? All my sister and I can say is there is absolutely no feeling like it in the world. After decades of secrecy perpetuated by our mother (she obviously had her reasons, and we’re totally fine with that; we will always honor and love her), we’ve found our birth father through Ancestry.com, and as some of you already know, we can hardly explain — or contain — our joy. We’ve just waited for the right time to announce it to the world, and the day after Daddy’s birthday is as good as any. That, and it’s Ground Hog Day. :P

I’m sure you’ve read stories about long-lost relationships: children finding siblings, or parents finding children. You would think that finding a family member would be the best experience ever. Yet, I’ve read many accounts of awkward meetings, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, old resentments, and gradual partings because things just didn’t pan out the way either party envisioned. That’s what makes our tale even happier to tell. From our initial meeting back in August to this very morning, it’s been amazing. Mavis and I love him and his lovely wife more every day. How often does that happen in real life?

OK, on to the fotos. Sis wins in the lookalike department. She looks just like him. Their noses and coloring are identical. He’s funny, articulate (and heavy on the smart aleck, which explains where Mavis gets it, of course) and has a huge heart. And he adores us. Did I mention we felt he loved us from the minute he saw us?

Of course, I have to mention Daddy the musician. To tell you who all he’s played with over the years would be to drop quite a few names. He wrote a song that Ringo Starr recorded. He’s played with Opry people, blues people, had his own band, recorded albums, and played solo gigs. I like this picture:

And here’s one of his albums (not sure of the exact year — I’ll have to ask — but I’m going to guess somewhere between ’65 and ’68):

And talk about tight playing, in-tune singing, and a gorgeous, effortless tone…I’m not biased, really. Listen for yourself:

Friend, Lover, Woman, Wife

He wears leather, drives trucks, builds motorcycles, details cars. And in his spare time, he writes and plays music. The music…we get it from him. (Mavis is a talented musician; she just chose not to be a slave to it the rest of her life.) I think that out of all the amazing revelations of the past five months, the music thing blows me away the most.

I never knew why I had this burning passion to be a musician. Certainly, my parents never encouraged it (Dad was not musical at all, and Mother was a closet piano player but horribly shy — you’d never get her to perform in public). In fact, Mother was somewhat against it. She didn’t want me going off to Europe to sing in 1976. She did not like the idea of my going to New York in 1979 to audition for Norman Luboff, either (I never did go). Our parents wanted us to do music, but only in church. So why did I rebel and insist? I think it was because it was just “in me,” and it was something I had to do. Now it all makes sense. Like I told Mavis and some close friends: I know who I belong to now — it’s the guy in the ubiquitous leather hat and shades, with the irresistible Mississippi twang:

And of course, our young and beautiful stepmom! (He’s a lucky dog, oui?)

How fantastic is all this?

So if the parent you belong to is still living, call him or her tonight, just to say “I love you.” As my sister and I can tell you, the privilege of just being able to do so rarely presents itself twice in a lifetime.

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Mavis
Mavis
2 February, 2011 7:24 am

We definitely did feel loved the minute we met him, Bird. How much I have missed that feeling from a parent! I truly believe God led us to find Daddy. He and Kathy are wonderful people! It’s like they loved us after the first 5 minutes of our meeting them! If any of you readers have a parent that you haven’t spoken to, are on the outs with, or just don’t talk to much – please do it. Make amends. Pay more attention to them. You will never regret it! Sis and I can hardly find the right words to… Read more »

Suzanne
2 February, 2011 10:23 am

What a wonderful story!!!! How wonderful for you both!! I miss my Dad so much, even more so now that I am All Growed Up and wish I could pick his brain over all things musical and just life in general.

I was thinking about calling my mom later to see if she’s OK in the storm. I think I will do just that.

((( warm hugs )))

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Suzanne
2 February, 2011 12:33 pm
Reply to  Rat Fink

Just called Mom, no answer. She was supposed to go to lunch today with friends–if she did in this weather I’m gonna have to have a word with her!! Hopefully she was just somewhere else in the house and couldn’t get to the phone. Will call later.

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Heather
Heather
2 February, 2011 12:14 pm

So…when do we all get to meet them?! We are all very excited for you both, and they sound like such wonderful people! We are looking forward to getting to know them and have them asa part of our lives too – whenever everyone is ready for that! I know that adding lots of grandchildren, their spouses, and 2 lively toddlers to anyone’s lives could take a bit of adjustment! To Bobby and Kathy both (if you read Linda’s blog) – we are so happy that Linda and Cheryl have found you both and that you all have accepted each… Read more »

RD
RD
2 February, 2011 4:01 pm

I am thrilled beyond measure for you and Mavis! This is terrific, wunderbar, out of this world, and completes a lot of things for both of you!

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Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks
2 February, 2011 6:08 pm

Wow this is really cool Fink! I’m happy for you.

That song is great, I’d like to hear a whole album.

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BoomR
BoomR
2 February, 2011 10:03 pm

You know how ABSOLUTELY THRILLED I am for you two!! And what a hoot that your daddy’s birthday is Feb 1??!! My dad celebrated birthday #82 yesterday on Feb 1, too!!! Two musical dads born on Feb 1…whodda thunk it??!!

Thanks for sharing all of this on your blog! WOOT!

((HUGGERZ)) :-)
-B

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Sue Martin Bunner
Sue Martin Bunner
3 February, 2011 5:12 pm

You girls amaze me,,, This is just to cool. Enjoy every minute you can.
Love to you both and hope to see you soon.

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