Ask the Rat

28 September, 2010
Rat Fink

And now I shall entertain your most earnest wonderings. Your burning questions. Your stickiest situations.

The newest Finkweb category: Ask the Rat.

Do you pine for answers? Do you need guidance? Seek ye wisdom? If so, then post. All shall be revealed. Serious or facetious, personal or professional, earnest or silly. [OK, not too personal.]

Questions/dilemmas can be about anything. (Disclaimer: no, I won’t do your research paper for you. At least not for free.)

Savvy? All right then — type.

PS – In order for this to work, I shall need articulate and compendious responses. So let’s get on it, shall we? I’ll start you off. Dear Rat Fink…

Ready, steady, go.

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18 Comments
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Meg
Meg
28 September, 2010 10:36 am

Dear Wise One, Why does Donald Duck not wear pants but puts a towel around his waist after he gets out of the shower? And who in your opinion would be the best choice for a paper/project: Benny Goodman, Cyrus Chestnut, or Ray Charles? ReplyRat Fink Reply:September 28th, 2010 at 6:21 pmDear Meg: 1. Do feathers not need a toweling off after a shower? 2. Chestnut and Charles are fantastic subjects, but Goodman might pull you out of the gospel-tinged genre that’s familiar to you. I’d say go for something totally different. My fee is $6. But for you, $5.99.… Read more »

kodye
kodye
28 September, 2010 12:50 pm

Dear Rat Fink, How did I get so amazing? Whats the best thing about me? When I have my own late night talk show, would you want to be the band leader? ReplyRat Fink Reply:September 28th, 2010 at 6:23 pmDear Kodye: 1. You had exquisite choral training in secondary school. 2. Your goat impression in the 2004 production of Godspell. 3. Of course! For you, I’d work for free! ReplyConger Reply:September 29th, 2010 at 7:34 pmI remember Godspell….. “…BUT I DON’T THINK YOU’RE FUNNY AT ALL….” ReplyRat Fink Reply:September 29th, 2010 at 9:39 pmHahaha — I KNEW you’d have a… Read more »

Bando
Bando
28 September, 2010 8:00 pm

Why, oh why does 8th grade choir exist?

Reply

Rat Fink Reply:

Dear Bando:

It’s a conspiracy between the public schools and the folks who make Nice ‘n Easy.

Reply

Skylar
Skylar
28 September, 2010 9:40 pm

Dear Fink,

Can we bring back the bass section from my freshman year, por favor? :P

Reply

Rat Fink Reply:

Dear Skylar:

Nihil desperandum, dear lady. Across the desert lies the promised land! [Translation: They’re mostly young and timid and unsure. If I beat them down some more, they’ll come out of their musical shells.]

Reply

Ross
Ross
29 September, 2010 3:57 pm

Dear Rat Fink: I have mentioned before that Mrs Ross and I are maniacal followers of the local minor league hockey team affiliated with the Dallas Stars. The stadium they play in holds about 6200. I am a baritone. I want to audition to sing the National Anthem at a game. How might I best prepare for this audition? Yes, I can sing, but largely untrained. Go ReplyRoss Reply:September 29th, 2010 at 4:07 pmPS- This isn’t so far-fetched; I’m a repeat season ticket holder and have my ‘ins’ in the organization, and last season, two of the singers got the… Read more »

Haydon
Haydon
24 December, 2010 1:47 pm

Hey there Fink, What do ya think of those Power Balance Bands? Real or Fake? ReplyRat Fink Reply:December 25th, 2010 at 10:17 amWell, Haydon…good question. Two sides to my answer: 1. I have tried Paul’s PBB, and he did the balance test on me (the stick-your-arms-out thing). I must say it really did work. However… 2. I am a firm believer in the concept of confirmation bias, which is a tendency for people to favor information that confirms what they think is true, regardless of whether it’s true or not. (You can read more here.) It’s a tough call, but… Read more »

ChoirGal
ChoirGal
30 December, 2010 1:01 pm

Dear Fink, How do you select the songs your choirs sing and how do you choose the soloists that sing? ReplyRat Fink Reply:December 30th, 2010 at 4:34 pmDear CG: I generally choose music based on the overall ability of the ensemble. Regarding soloists: sometimes I have to split hairs because many singers sound beautiful on the auditions, and their scores are extremely close. That happens a lot. So in some cases, I’ll choose the singer who had the best style, or sang out the best. In other more rare cases, it has come down to choosing an upperclassman. Of course,… Read more »