Embracing perspective

1 November, 2015
Rat Fink

Hello, fiends. It’s been a while indeed — almost a month to the day since I’ve talked to you. I hope all is well with you this side of social media.

I’ve had some hefty doses of stress (I really do hate that word) thrown my way over the past several weeks. People close to me going through struggles, struggles of my own, and some challenging issues at school have pretty much dominated my already-overcrowded brain space lately. By the time I got home from a decidedly unspectacular tech rehearsal for Godspell yesterday, it had all piled up to a nearly unbearable heap on my mind and heart. I felt like launching the sofa through the picture window.

I knew I couldn’t dwell on it, because the Js were due to arrive in an hour for a sleepover, and I didn’t want them absorbing any of my negative vibe. So I sat down and thought some thoughts. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. No matter how much you want it and strive for it (and in this case, it’s what I want for others as well as myself), sometimes what you want isn’t what’s going to be. It’s crucial that you become OK with it eventually, because it’s going to hurt only one person in the end: you.
  2. Stop trying to manage — and torture yourself with worry about — other people’s problems. You can’t own it all. You didn’t cause it, and it’s not up to you to fix it.
  3. The silly song “Accentuate the Positive” actually speaks some truth: If you don’t try to spread joy and minimize gloom in your life, pandemonium is likely to sneak up on you and take over. I can’t let that happen.
  4. Stop worrying about what people will think of your work.                                           Um, still struggling with this one. hahaha

The Js, having some early-morning “tablet time” so they can watch Minecraft videos while Grammie writes a blog post.

By the time the Js arrived, I had at least begun trying to lift the wet, gray burlap blanket off me. And of course, once the boys hugged me and snuggled into the easy chair and couch while I made dinner, I began to feel better. After yapping about Minecraft and school over dinner, Gpa Thriller made popcorn and we watched part of Jumanji. After a while, I put two sleepy kids in their bunkbeds, and we talked about the games Jake played at his school Halloween party. It took them about 2 minutes to fall completely silent after I turned off the light, so I was able to come downstairs and relax a bit. Quiet reflection can enable perspective, and I think I made some headway in those solitary moments when I had the main floor to myself (the Thriller was downstairs watching the Longhorns game).

So I embrace the perspective of peace today, and I will try to carry it through the rest of this insane week. I don’t know if I’ll talk to you again before the show closes this coming Saturday night, but I know I’ll try to keep the aforementioned mantras running through my melon. Maybe they can help you at some point, too. :-)

Welp, time to get ready for pit rehearsal at 11. TTFN! Much love.

6 Comments

  1. Thank goodness for grandchildren to take you away (like Calgon haha). Keep that with you this week, remember you go through this every year and they ALWAYS come through for you!

    Hugs for you!!!

  2. Some fifteen years ago I was awarded my largest project ever…several millions for a World famous person the racing industry. Their money, fame and sense of entitlement made the project one giant source of worry and the biggest pain in the blank I had ever experienced. The sheer size of the project became a 24/7 sort of monster that was relentless. It was near impossible to maintain perspective, but it happened one day.
    The project was nearing completion; I could see the end in sight when a problem arose. This could be a novel, so I will make a long story very short. One of the countless minions for the “Owner” decided that a container filled with exotic stone tile quarantined by Customs at the Long Beach terminal was my fault. The potential delay was serious and would be a major hiccup in the construction schedule. This particular minion, there were many, flew into town and called a meeting on a Sunday afternoon on site where it was apparent that the sole purpose was to let me know how this was my problem and how unhappy the Team was. I let him rant, and rave and threaten for a good twenty minutes. All attempts to help him realize that I had no say in the US Customs decision to quarantine our material fell on deaf ears. So, during some non-sensical rant I walked out. Cannot repeat the names I was called as I walked outside but some were pretty imaginative hyphenated combos. I came back in with a four foot length of 2×4 and handed it to the minion and told him we had two options; one, beat me with the 2×4, because he obviously thought this was a life or death situation; or two, find an alternate.
    My litmus test to frame the parameters of perspective has since been “Does anyone die?” If someone could die then I get real worried…all the rest are hiccups, some more serious than others but just hiccups.
    You my Dear Friend are THE best! Regardless how things appear in the process of preparing, the final product has always been the best it could be! So for perspective create a diary filled with quotes, cards, notes from former students whose lives MS Rat Fink has forever impacted. Handwritten! Read two of these on the tough days and call me later! :) You are loved! Peace!

    • Wow — what a story! Thanks Dave. And I do need to realize that the “hiccups” will happen, and that no one died and I still have my job, family, friends and good fortune in this life. Perspective, perspective, perspective. Thanks for the reminder and the lesson, dear friend!

  3. It’s true. Sisters are really connected. I’ve been thinking about 1-3 all morning. I can’t own and operate all problems in my life. Even though they hurt like fire, ya just have to let them go. Realizing I can’t change them is my biggest headache. I’m in it with you, Bird. We shall come through it all! Start thinking about our “Hamsgiving” dinner and family time! Big Hugs, sweetness.

    • I know you are in it with me — how many dozens of times have we had that discussion over coffee…sheesh we know the script pretty well by now! Can’t wait for Hamsgiving/Christmas season! AND FOOD……………….. <3 <3

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