Why do I need an Apple iPad?

If I have a big handbag (which I do), it could fit nicely in there. I could conceivably have WiFi and not get all honked about hotels charging me for it.

But…

1. I’d have to forswear Verizon for AT & T — and I am account holder for four other phones.
2. Is this a flash in the pan? Just a bigger version of the iTouch? What will be its staying power vs. a laptop?
3. Check out the specs (pdf). How much better a deal is it than a laptop?
4. Will HTML5 be a sufficient replacement for Apple’s lack of Flash?

Crucial things to think about this day, a day that could shape up to be more stressful than it needs to be. Know’m sayin? Mondays: me no likey.

FO

Photo credit: Reuters

This could be dangerous. I am spending entirely too much time at CrackBerry this morning. Yikes.

I love gadgets for my Storm. Heh. I would rather play with fun toys this day than choose music for my v-jazz camp that starts Sunday. Or clean the Finkhouse. Or wonder if Lars got my text message yesterday.

As much as I hate to, I must fly. Have to get started. Another good day for hating things, I see. I am starting to love hate. I like that.

Hating everything and everyone (except you, of course),

FinkBerry

That’s how many days old I am as of this morning. Yark.

Did I sit and figure this out on paper or with a calculator? Are ya mental? No way. I used Wolfram Alpha, the cool new math engine that can compute anything on almost any topic. Here’s what I got when I entered my birthdate last night:

I typed in the word “Cyprus,” and got just about all the statistical information on the island that anyone could possibly want. Now how dandy is that, I ask you. It won’t surprise you to know that I spent far too much of my precious free time on that site, after having outlined 70 pages on quantitative research methodologies.

Once again: my life is one big party.

Off to meet Kay at Starbucks. Yummy.

No, I’m not giving away warriors or infectious computer programs or, um…those other things.

And no, I’m not writing a post about the Association of Free Trojans — if there actually is an Association of Free Trojans. Rather, I’ve deliberately misplaced the modifier to confuse you. Kidding again. I just have stuff to say about the word “trojan.”

Last night, while reading/researching, I ran into the word no fewer than three times. This, I surmised, was a sign: time to free-associate about trojans. [OK, I'm not *really* free-associating, but...you know.]

You hear the word “trojan” a lot; many times in connection with computer issues. There are three definitions one must keep separate in the virus/trojan/worm game, however (squeaky-clean, freshly-manicured Mac users, you can skip this section, although the Mighty Blue Apple has been known to get the occasional worm):

• Virus: something your computer catches from an infected source, like media (CDs, portable drives, files).
• Worm: a kind of virus spread mostly via networks.
• Trojan: a bad piece of programming masquerading as something else

There are lots of schools that feature a Trojan warrior as their mascot. My school does. But I wonder how many people, when they think of a Trojan, first think about how the citizens of Troy got their collective butts kicked via the ultimate humiliation of the Trojan horse joke.

I would imagine a person’s first thought upon learning of the ruse dreamed up by Odysseus would be, What a buncha wankers. Well, if the knee-high strappy sandal fits…

They really bought it, lock and stock. Amazing. Different culture then, though. And really, how do we know Virgil didn’t make it all up? But still, I have to wonder when I see athletic teams called “Trojans” — why did they choose that mascot? I’m sure there were brave and powerful Trojan soldiers. But that’s not really their claim to fame.

Thus ends my Trojan association, but not my fondness for all things old. Take today, for instance. Tis a special day indeed. Behold the email I received from my fiend PK:

Hail, Mistress well met! I would remind thee that Thursday bringeth Talk Like Shakespeare day withal, to honor his birthday revels. Mayhaps it behooveth thee to visit yon web site:

http://www.talklikeshakespeare.org/

My friend and Finkville citizen Suzanne lives in the Netherlands with her handsome Dutch husband, Harold. She wrote a comment on yesterday’s blog that really brought back some memories. All ye who are geeky and all about this here internet thing, read on. (Those who aren’t can read on as well, what the heck.)

I have met some wonderful friends through a protocol developed in the late 80s/early 90s called Internet Relay Chat – or IRC. Users downloaded mIRC and pIRCch software and used it exclusively to communicate real-time on a daily basis with people from all over the planet. It was instant messaging’s granddaddy. How can I explain it…it was a cult of sorts; a brotherhood, to wit:

• We didn’t call them “chat rooms.” That was for silly AOL users who didn’t want to know the guts of anything. Our hangouts were called “channels.” Many of us were Usenet junkies, and we made the transition pretty easily.
• We had channel operators (chanops or just “ops”) who controlled the mayhem. We (including the Thriller, Suzanne and myself) worked our way up through the ranks and were made channel operators by the IRC gods. At one point, Thriller and I were “499″ level ops, with the highest designation being 500 (or channel owner). Think of a jail setting…we were trustees of the highest order. HA
• These weren’t just cute little “chat rooms.” At the time, we operated the channel called #newbies, where everyone who was new to IRC came to get help and learn the ropes of the software and the environment. Hundreds and hundreds of people cycled through that place every day. There were also a lot of IRC veterans who just came to hang. Many relationships, involving lifelong friendship, romance, and even animosity, developed in there. (I’m thinking of some certain Canadians…)
• There were lots of people from Europe, Asia, Canada and the US, all coming together in one place to talk, laugh, and generally be silly. It was great, and at the time, extremely novel. It wasn’t the norm back in 1993-94 like it is now.
• Suzanne is a wonderful friend I made through IRC, and I’ll be forever grateful for that.

Suzanne: So I just blew the dust off my copy of mIRC, and connected to Undernet. Went into our old stomping grounds and found Mahatma & Clotho…whaddya know?? Cool that they’re still together, just like us.

Have a dandy day, everyone.

Fink, dinosaur