Dear graffiti artist:
b00m Thank you for the ugly scratching of nonsense letters in the black paint on the inside of my classroom door yesterday. No doubt you were bored while waiting for me to dismiss you. Or you thought you were sooper sneaky and funny, tee-hee. The old hag’ll never know what hit her! Hahahahahaha! ~ Thing [...]
Ouch, my eye.
What a dope. I bashed a door into my face yesterday (and a sharp part of my glasses into my open eye), and now I cannot stop weeping (and writhing in pain). Fantastic — time to call the opthoalsghlaskdmfalgist. All I really want to do right now is spend the night in a giant beagle. [...]
BTTH X
Warren "It Wunt My Fault I Swear" Sapp “I was trying to help her up and she fell on her leg.” ~ Of course she did, dear. And so it goes: another pro athlete arrested for stupid behavior that threatens an otherwise entitled and charmed life. Some people can’t see how fortunate they are. The [...]
BTTH IX
Y’ know…I don’t ask for much. Tonight, I’m leaving for Cincinnati to go to a music geek convention. Yesterday, after a particularly difficult day, I called the hotel down there to confirm, and I asked about WiFi. The nice gal said, “Yes, we do have internet access in the rooms — it’s $9.95 per night.” [...]
BTTH VIII
Ah, the ghostie shows again. Their utterly hideous line deliveries make television’s worst actor, David Caruso, look positively Shakespearean. Last night, as the Thriller watched one of these “SyFy” (synonymous with horrendously bad screenwriting and acting — and if you think ghostie shows aren’t totally scripted and craftily edited, you’re mistaken) gems, I transcribed what [...]